Rome in 48 hours

Give two knackered parents (us) 48 hours in Rome and we will rinse every nanosecond out of it. And return home with extra chins and extra-tight jeans. No fresh fruit or vegetables will be consumed - it’s all about the carbs, the brown and the beige. Not least, the cream-filled buns that we got a 40-minute tram ride for, and the dream-like pasta sauces - I hope to have flashbacks of the basil pesto and the cacio al pepe (see pic below) for weeks to come. It’s all about the robust, simple foods - gutsy, hearty and bursting with honking flavours.

Everything feels dialled up to 11 in Rome. The city and its people are LOUD - couples arguing in the street with dramatic arm gestures and eye rolls, irritated drivers honking their horns constantly, people screaming at each other in the street after a minor traffic incident, the nasal tones of the ambulances drifting over the din. Something like 10 percent of the architecture in the city is Ancient Roman; you can barely go three minutes without stumbling upon some gargantuan temple or piece of antiquity, the sights are jaw-dropping. The Vatican - and indeed all the churches - are dripping in an obscene amount of art, sculptures, tapestries and artefacts, it’s enough to make you giddy. Saturday night out in the Trastavere district is like attending Glastonbury - you have to push your way along the streets in a heaving wall of flesh, and cram your way headfirst into a bar. It’s absolutely jumping! On Sunday lunchtime, I observed a grand lady in her 70s exiting her apartment dressed head to toe in chestnut-coloured furs.

Smell is something that resonates with me on a huge level, and as soon as we landed I noticed that Rome had its wafts of 70s-style furniture polish and orange flower, amid the cigarette smoke. These scents reminded me of time spent in Marseilles growing up - maybe these kinds of aromas are popular in hot, bustling Mediterranean cities, where strong scents go hand in hand with the funk of extreme heat and the stench of drains. Even though it was early March, Rome was muggy.

The key things I love about travel are the differences. Even the small ones. I made a list of things that tickled me during our 48 hours, or that just fascinated or bemused me:

• Tube stations are generally quite grubby; some have very narrow escalators, so nobody can push past you and walk up. Platforms have TVs broadcasting news and ritzy chat shows. There are very good wall mosaics

• Public drinking water dispensers give out still AND sparkling water

  

• Yellow mimosa bouquets are everywhere in March - people sell it on the tube, in the street and bunches of it decorate restaurant tables and bars

• Pedestrian crossings have an ‘amber’ man - basically if you see this, start running, the traffic never stops!

• Rome has tiny vehicles - all shoebox versions of dustbin lorries, buses and cars, because the streets are very narrow in places. I’ve never seen so many midget Smart cars

• The Vatican has an espresso vending machine in the basement. You need caffeine to get you round the galleries - it’s a very slow two-and-a-half-hour trudge through multiple high-ceilinged chambers heaving with Catholic wealth

• Roman ring doughnuts are enormous - about five times the size of a Krispy Kreme

• Italian hot chocolate is like drinking hot chocolate pudding - it’s a nostalgic puddle of cornflour-heavy chocolate sludge, tasting like a French ‘Dannette’ - a chocolate custard pudding from the 80s

• Roman espresso is terrifyingly strong despite its tiny thimble size. Also: it is possibly a myth that you should never order a cappucino after breakfast for fear of being socially outcast - I witnessed a genuine Italian person ordering a cappucino after lunch WITH SOYA MILK

• Throughout the city centre, army soldiers and police just stand around in groups holding enormous machine guns. Casual, like

• Some small shops have a bizarre queueing system where you line up on one side to order, then get in a separate queue to pay, then get in another queue to pick the item up. Baffling

Two very Roman things to try when in Rome:

1. BALLS. Rome is big into balls - globes of carbonara pasta, lasagne or risotto breadcrumbed and deep fried. Danger!

2. Maritozzo cream buns:

Essentially a soft brioche bun filled to the gunnels with sweetened whipped cream. Go carefully - and if you have a moustache, you might need to rinse it out afterwards. The man who made our buns at Il Maritozzaro had a steel cream whipping machine built into his countertop. You’ll need an espresso to cut through it all afterwards. Heaven!